I can't fall asleep, so I'm killing time with an update...about exhaustion. I am officially experiencing a level of exhaustion that I didn't know existed. Not to be one of those people that is all "Nobody knows just how I feel," but REALLY not everyone could know how I feel!
It's been rough lately. I have been experiencing adrenal dysfunction that I don't have another name for yet, but we're pursuing medical advice in many different forms...conventional, holistic, etc. My symptoms include exhaustion during the day that isn't normal, even for a mother of triplets, dizziness, drops in blood pressure, mostly exhaustion. It's a different kind of exhaustion...a complete emptiness. And yet sometimes at night I have sleeplessness because my adrenals kick in and keep me from falling asleep. I'm grateful to have discovered melatonin, because it is a much gentler sleep aid than the Ambien I was using.
But it's rough right now. The babies are adorable. I'm so grateful for them. They are exhausting. They are like little tornado babies rampaging through my house. Not only do they leave paths of destruction everywhere they go, but their activity prevents me from doing the normal household work I need to do. Of course they are so cute, starting to talk and say words, and every day that goes by I know I will regret not video taping every second of their lives, and yet I can't even remember to get out the video camera. Heck the other day someone suggested something specific that I should pray for during my nighttime prayers, and I laughingly told her that a lot of the time when I reach night time prayers I can't even remember to pray for my own children! The old adage about not going to bed with the kitchen messy...completely obsolete here. I'm grateful to just make it until evening in one piece! I need to hire someone to just come clean my kitchen every night. Oh, that would be awesome!
Weirdly enough, I feel compelled to teach swimming again this summer, even though my energy level is so low. It's my passion. I love it. It brings me so much satisfaction, so I'm going to do it. I'm going to do my best to keep my schedule under control. If I get too tired, I'll stop.
I live day to day, hanging on. I love my life, but I wish I had more energy to enjoy it more. I love all my kids. They are the jewels in my crown, the greatest blessings in my life. I am so honored to be their mother and earthly guide. The other day Haylee told me that in some ways she wishes her friends could be more like her mother. TRY THAT ONE ON FOR SIZE! Sweet! I must be doing something right! Or wrong...
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3 comments:
I adore your daughter wanting to be more like you.. Just being a Mom of seven gives you all the tiredness in the world (this coming from a Mom of 6) but to have 3 of those 7 be toddlers?? I suspect melatonin will be sleepmate for a while.
Good for you picking up what is your passion (besides your passion for being an awesome Mom!), truly that may be your sanity!
Here's to more energy and less mess! Have a good summer Julie!
I'm so glad you discovered melatonin. It's a staple around our house. Good luck with doing it all. Just let the house go....enjoy the good stuff. If Bill is EVER home some night, I'll come clean your kitchen!
You can do it!
What a great compliment from your daughter. I haven't checked out your blog in a while. I can not imagine triplets twins is enough. I understand your feelings on a twin level. I can say there is hope. This last winter I thought that there was no possible way I could or would ever function in a normal way again. The last few weeks the boys have all seemed to simmer down and grow up just enough to make life seem more managable. If all else fails time is passing. Goodluck! I really hope you can work out the medical end it is very frustrating to not sleep ecspecialy when you are so exhausted. I suffer from that.
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