Thought of the Day: My brain is mush. I'm tired and feeling lost. I'm ready for my reconstructive surgery to put abs and everything back where it goes but haven't planned it yet. My clothes don't fit. I'm tired, did I mention that? I don't remember how to connect with my hubby. My back hurts. What on Earth was God thinking? Does He REALLY think I can get through this? I'm trying so hard to keep my chin up, but my chin is getting really heavy. My kitchen is a mess. I need exercise. At least the babies' ear infections are getting better--so why are they still waking me up at 3:30 a.m.?
By the way, I had some x-rays done the other day (some of you know that I have had chronic back pain for about 5 years now) and they show my cervical spine to have completely lost its curve, my head sits off to one side, one of my shoulders is lower than the other, and my lumbar curve is exaggerated to compensate for the lack of curve in my cervical. Many disc spaces are narrowed and my facet joints in my lumbar are jammed up. OUCH!!! The Dr. asked me if I was surprised to see my xrays look so bad. Of course I wasn't surprised! I didn't come in to get them done because I think my spine is healthy! OUCH!!! No wonder I have pain. I am planning to try a new rehab program I found here in South Jordan at a place called "Integrated Wellness" that is supposed to restore my spinal curve, correct my posture, and restore some of my health. After all these years of pain I can't help but be skeptical, but if it will resolve my issues that would be heavenly. I am so used to pain every day that I don't think I give it any credit anymore, but it's there with me all the time and I'm just sick of it!
Another thought of the day: Why has this experience turned me into a cynic?
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April 25, 2009
The kids were playing a game of "Would You Rather..." where they would give two options of life experiences (some random and some crazy) and you had to pick which one you'd rather have. My 5 year old, Ben, then says: "Would you rather have eyballs like bowling balls or get your head bited off by a shark?" Dave and I busted up laughing!
The kids were playing a game of "Would You Rather..." where they would give two options of life experiences (some random and some crazy) and you had to pick which one you'd rather have. My 5 year old, Ben, then says: "Would you rather have eyballs like bowling balls or get your head bited off by a shark?" Dave and I busted up laughing!
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2 comments:
All I can say is it sounds like you are dealing with so much right now and it sounds really hard. I can't relate in the same way, but I can totally understand why it's hard not to be a cynic. With the back pain, the ear infections, the interrupted sleep and the lack of those fabulous exercise endorphins (sprinkle on the totally transformed figure and no clothes to wear...), it can't help you feel on the top of your game. I hope it helps to hear that I pray for you and the babies! You're someone that I look up to. Just know that you're not alone and I don't think it's a bad thing to feel down and blog about it! Hope you and the girls get to feeling better soon. I'll definitely be praying for your back.
As I read your blog it reminds me of my life only triple-fied. I have many of the same complaints only with one baby. As I read how you power on it inspires me to do better. I hope your back feels better soon. If the place in South Jordan doesn't work out. You could try Dr. Brad Peterson. He is in South Jordan and worked miracles on us. I pray that your girls will get better soon. And that sleep will come swiftly.
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